EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize