a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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