Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
