Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
