i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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