I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
