So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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