Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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