More tranny stories later!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
