How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
another moral hangover. fuck.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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