Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
