people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
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These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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