I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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