so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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