It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
