I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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