Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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