I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
