The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
