Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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