Me too!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
