i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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