we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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