Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I got inside last night via doggy door
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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