discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
