I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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