She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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