I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize