I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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