How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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