Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He is an equal opportunity slut.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
