trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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