I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
