we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You were trust falling into bushes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
