well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
