You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize