I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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