If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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