i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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