Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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