Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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