...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
