Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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