HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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