everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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