Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
