i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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