do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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