Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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