He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like death gave me a hand job
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
