I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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