I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
