At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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