What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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