he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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