he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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