I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I could make wine with my vomit
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
