So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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