Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I won the penis lottery.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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