I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
