you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
