i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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