I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize